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Recent Posts
- Schwarzenegger Fights Evil Paternity-Suit Maid In His Latest Action Flick
- Fat Guy Ruins Steve Nash’s Reputation On L.A. Playgrounds
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- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Miraculously Attracts Hair to His Own Head
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Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Miraculously Attracts Hair to His Own Head
Posted on September 17, 2012 | No CommentsDuring the live portion of a PBS pledge drive on Sunday evening, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a famous self-help guru who has long been bald, began sprouting luxurious blonde hair from his head -
Buttfacebook IPO Set For May 16th
Posted on May 14, 2012 | No CommentsThree former college buddies are so confident that their Internet startup, Buttfacebook, will be a success, they’re doing the unthinkable: Planning an IPO for May 16, the day before social media giant Facebook goes public. -
Secret Service Chief Demands Strict 2-to-1 Prostitute-to-Agent Ratio on Future Trips
Posted on April 19, 2012 | No CommentsThree former Secret Service agents resigned in protest Wednesday in response to the newly announced policy proposal. -
Where Does The Weekly Weasel Get Its News?
Posted on April 16, 2012 | No CommentsBy popular demand, today we bring you a behind-the-scenes look at how the Weekly Weasel works. -
Hitler Fans Excited about New Hitler Shows on the Hitler Channel
Posted on April 10, 2012 | No CommentsPlanned upcoming shows included “Campaign of Terror,” an 82,202-episode series about Germany’s 1939 invasion of Poland and “Hello, Hitler,” a new sitcom about what happens when Hitler wakes up in the year 2012. -
400-lb Gorilla Goes Unnoticed on Plane Until Lighting Up Cigarette
Posted on April 3, 2012 | No CommentsAn escaped ape spent most of a cross-country United Airlines flight enjoying first class service before an air marshall escorted him off for violating the plane's smoking ban. -
Major Tom’s Space Debris Threatens to Destroy Earth
Posted on April 1, 2012 | No CommentsWreckage from the disastrous 1969 British space mission that killed famed astronaut Major Tom could destroy the entire world, officials say. -
Reporters Celebrate First-Ever Pause in News Stories About Greek Debt Crisis
Posted on March 21, 2012 | No CommentsLed by news anchor Deirdre Bolton, Bloomberg journalists danced, blew noisemakers, hugged, kissed and generally had a great time at Bloomberg Headquarters in New York City. -
Goldman Sachs to Buy Greece
Posted on March 20, 2012 | No CommentsTo end the "seemingly never-ending" number of news segments on the financial status of Greece, Goldman Sachs will purchase the entire country, the company's CEO announced today. -
‘That’s Enough Success, Peyton Manning,’ Says God
Posted on March 19, 2012 | No CommentsSaying that he "just can't keep giving him everything," God announced that tomorrow he would end Peyton Manning's success. ...