Dazed Elderly Woman Ruins Super Bowl Halftime Show

A picture of the woman who interrupted the Super Bowl 2012 halftime show. The image was sent in by concerned family members who say she's been missing for days. (Photo by David Shankbone at http://blog.shankbone.org/images/)

INDIANAPOLIS – A visibly-confused elderly woman crashed the Super Bowl half-time show Sunday, managing to sing 12 minutes worth of unknown music before guards escorted her from the field.

Male dancers and security personnel spent at least half an hour trying to corral the senior, a blonde woman between the ages of 70 and 95, who police, NFL officials and fans have been unable to identify.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Announcer, Kevin Harlan. “Somebody should help that lady before she gets hurt.”

“But, wow, look at her go,” Harlan said. “She’s ducking another group of dancers.”

“Can anyone stop her?”

Officials set off smoke bombs and pyrotechnic explosions to try to stun the woman, but nothing seemed to halt her off-key tunes.

When a security guard was able to use a nearly invisible wire to make the woman stumble, the crowd cheered, but she quickly recovered and resumed her bizarre dancing.

The woman even spoke to the crowd a number of times, speaking as if they should be familiar with her, or care whether or not she was nervous to be there.

“It was disturbing,” said Angela Braithwaite, a 43-year-old elementary school teacher, who attended the game with her husband and three children.  “Disturbing and surreal.”

“She seemed confused when no one in the audience clapped or sang along with her,” Braithwaite said. “But seriously, how could we? None of us had any idea who she was.”

At $3 million a second, the cost of the debacle to the NFL is expected to be about $72 million, given the 12 minutes of time wasted during one of the most watched TV sporting events.

The show was voted the second worst half-time show of all time, ranking right after that guy who impersonated Bono.