Beach Boys Release Oldified Versions of Songs to Kick Off 50th-Anniversary Tour

Brian Wilson, lead songwriter of the Beach Boys. (Photo by Richard King at http://www.pbase.com/rking401/brian_wilson)

The Beach Boys are back and older than ever.

To kick off their 50th anniversary tour, the legendary surf music group will release new versions of their most popular tunes, updated to fit the five senior’s current, more ancient lifestyles.

The new album, “Dentured Smile,” features classic Beach Boys’ titles including “Help me Rhonda, Help Me Get Up Off Of This Toilet,” “Good Defibrillations” and “I Get Around … The Retirement Home.”

“These songs are classic Beach Boys,” said Brian Wilson, the group’s chief songwriter. “But we’ve given them that special “antique” feel that can only come from dozens of lifetimes of musical talent.”

“Where am I?” Wilson added.

Lead singer Mike Love said he thought the changes to the band’s songs and performance style — including a decision to remain seated in their wheelchairs for entire performances — would help them “better connect with fans.”

“At least those that are still alive,” Love said.

Longtime listeners are eagerly awaiting the new album, especially Mildred Von Clefendorfer, of Los Angeles.

Von Clefendorfer said she was planning to buy the record as soon as it is released, and as soon as she figures out where to purchase LPs.

“I remember when I first heard the Beach Boys on my father’s gramophone,” Von Clefendorfer said. “(And) it warms my heart to know they’re writing about things their listeners are familiar with.”

Beach Boys Songs Young and Old

Good Vibrations (Good Defibrillations)

Be True to Your School  (It’s Cool To Drool)

I Get Around (I Get Around … The Retirement Home)

409 (I’m Going Blind)

Fun Fun Fun (I’ve Got the Runs*)

In My Room (In My Diaper)

Shut Down (Unplugged*)

Catch a Wave (Get an Enema)

Do You Wanna Dance (Do You Wanna Die)

Little Deuce Coupe (Little Deuce Poop)

*Title subject to change when Brian wakes up.