‘That’s Enough Success, Peyton Manning,’ Says God

Peyton Manning, downcast after God's announcement. By Craig ONeal at http://www.flickr.com/photos/36703550@N00

Saying  that he “just can’t keep giving him everything,” God announced that tomorrow he would end Peyton Manning’s success.

The Most High revealed his decision at a press conference Monday, saying that Manning had been a blessed for “far too long.”

“Look, I allowed him to be born to an all-pro quarterback,  then made him a high-school and college star, and finally made him the best quarterback in the NFL,” God said. “I just had to even things out.”

“People were starting to complain.”

God said that he was was “tired of receiving so many prayers that began with, ‘It just doesn’t seem fair that Manning has such a great arm and blah, blah, blah.’”

After his brief announcement, God proceeded to set up a white board and rapidly scribble out  complicated  diagrams and charts showing how Manning had run out of time.

According to God, starting at 6 a.m. tomorrow, Manning will start failing at everything he tries to do.

“His success has to end,” God said. “It’s getting ridiculous. After all, there’s only one Messiah in this universe who can turn a bunch of losers in to winners.”