Reporters Celebrate First-Ever Pause in News Stories About Greek Debt Crisis

Following Goldman Sachs recent purchase of Greece, anchors at Bloomberg Business threw a company-wide party Monday to celebrate a three-minute period without stories on the debt-ridden nation, a pause which historians say is the first break in the nonstop coverage since 2010.

Bloomberg changed its customary logo in honor of the first three-minute pause in stories about the Greek debt crisis.

Led by news anchor Deirdre Bolton, journalists danced, blew noisemakers, hugged, kissed and generally had a great time at Bloomberg Headquarters in New York City.

From 11:06:57 a.m. to 11:09:57 a.m. Monday, there was a complete absence of business stories about Greece.

Bloomberg President Danial Doctoroff called the three-minute pause an “unprecedented event since Greece hit its eternal rough patch at the end of 2009.”

Wearing a party hat and holding an opened bottle of $275,000 champagne, Doctoroff said his employees “needed a break from the nonstop coverage.”

“And frankly, I did too,” Doctoroff said, between sips of Shipwrecked 1907 Heidsieck. “There’s only so many stories you can hear about the same thing, even if you’re running a multimedia empire.”

Margaret Brennan, who anchors “inBusiness with Margaret Brennan” looked visibly relieved.

“I am just so happy I could cry,” Brennan said.

After popping out of a cake in a bikini during the festivities, Brennan said the constant stress of reporting the same thing 871 times had begun to “take its toll.”

“These last few months I have been having the same nightmare every night, where everyone I meet speaks only Greek and walks and talks in extreme slow motion, plus I’m late for class and haven’t done my final paper for my economic’s final.”

The party was unexpectedly large, with at least 500 hundred Bloomberg employees in attendance.

One half of the attendees said they only came out to see Brennan jump out of a cake in a bikini, and the other half said they showed up because they thought editor-at-large Tom Keene was going to jump out of the cake in a bikini.

According to Harvard History Professor Kevin Pasato, it’s natural for news organizations to focus on the important crises of the time, but “the coverage of the Greek Debt Crisis was different.”

“This was the first crisis where anchors went from one Greek story to another without even referring to other events around the world,” Pasato said.

According to Pasato, before the monday pause, he and other members of the college’s history department had been tempted to call the 21st Century “The Greek Debt Crisis and Nothing Else Era.”

“I never thought I’d live to see a time when we weren’t hearing about it,” Pasato said. “It’s like a miracle.”

Update: The party came to end abruptly, however, when Goldman Sachs made a change to Greece’s foreign policy.

This brought another flood of news stories about the country, a flood that experts predict will fill the journalists’ schedules until at least 2015.

“They said it was over. No. No! No!” said a despondent Keene, before hurling himself out of the nearest window and plummeting to his death in the street below.