Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Miraculously Attracts Hair to His Own Head

During the live portion of a PBS pledge drive on Sunday evening, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a famous self-help guru who has long been bald, began sprouting luxurious blonde hair from his head until he stood before the TV audience, TV crew,  his PBS co-host, and a large group of telephone volunteers with a complete shoulder-length head of hair, causing gasps of wonder from all in attendance.

“I guess I am going to have to explain this,” he said, as he raised his hands and motioned for everyone to calm down.

“As you know, in the book I am presently promoting , Wishes Fulfilled, I teach people how to get what they want –I mean, manifest their deepest desires– by honoring their inner divinity, by consciously choosing to live from their highest self, by doing what I tell them to do in a check list I provide for them, and by watching PBS when one of my programs is on the air.”

Those present nodded appreciatively towards Dr. Dyer, obviously anxious that he should continue with his explanation.

“For years people have been asking why, if I am the “I Am” of the bible –as I recently stated on one of my programs– and if I have the ability to change the physical universe merely by wishing, I couldn’t attract hair into my life and onto my head?

Well, I am sure you all understand that I have evolved beyond such worldly desires,  and that is why I have never wished myself into a full head of hair in the past. However,  certain people have continued to badger me on this point, so I decided to use my wish fulfillment power tonight to get a full head of hair like Fabio’s.  And I decided it would be best to do it in front of a live television audience.”

The studio audience again nodded appreciatively.

“I mean, who in the world would be crazy enough to believe all of my claims about myself if I was leading my seminars with a head that looked like a cue-ball?  Only the most pathetic, needy and lost individuals would believe me if that were the case, and I certainly couldn’t be so callous as to make money off of such people in such a situation.  If I did something like that, I would have to be more like Satan than God, that’s for sure.”

This resulted in a standing ovation from everyone present. At this point Dr. Dyer announced that he was wishing that he was in his hot tub at his estate on Maui, and began to disappear.

Before he completely faded away, this reporter was able to ask him if he had any future plans.

“I’ll probably use my wishing power to remove some scary looking moles from my back,”  he said.