Fat Guy Ruins Steve Nash’s Reputation On L.A. Playgrounds

A rich fat guy who represents himself as Steve Nash on basketball courts around Los Angeles is ruining Nash’s reputation for great ball-handling and passing skills.  Jerome Willis, a phenom on the local courts, says that the fake Nash, whose real name is unknown, wears Nash’s Jersey and plays poorly in pickup games around the city.

Steve Nash Reacts To Another Bad
Pass By the “Fake Nash” Photo By Shaka

“He’s a really persuasive talker, and he is able to convince most of the younger guys that he is in fact Steve Nash or he wouldn’t be driving a Ferrari and buying everyone ice cream.  He tells them he is just a little out of shape because it’s the off season.  He even has his hair cut like Nash and leaves beard stubble on his face like Nash. The kids seem to believe him, even though he must weigh about three hundred pounds.”

The real Steve Nash says he is upset because the false Nash plays in games with the younger guys and tells them, “Now you can say you played a pick up game with Steve Nash,” even though he often dribbles the ball off his own feet and makes unexpected and sloppy passes that often usually hit the other players in the face.

“He drives on the basket and then tries to kick the ball back out, but invariably throws the ball so far over the head of his intended target that it leaves the courts and has to be retrieved by local passersby,” said the real Nash. “I can’t see why these kids don’t understand that he is not me.”

Bernard Everetts, a 6th grader from Wilson elementary school in Los Angeles, says that he believes the fat guy is the real Nash, “cuz he takes us to his big mansion and shows us all his trophies from his NBA MVP to his high school and college awards.”

The real Nash, hearing what the kids were saying, ground his teeth and said,  “No, he just pays to have imitations of all of that stuff made for him.  It’s not me.”

The real Nash plans to start going around to all the parks and playgrounds to try and rejuvenate his street credibility.  But the fake Nash is way ahead of him, having told all of his believers that a phony, skinny Nash is going to start showing up claiming to be the real Nash.  He warns them not to play any ball with the skinny Nash and that “If he was the real Nash, why doesn’t he drive a Ferrari?”

Berry Boenike, a regular on the cement courts of Los Angeles, said that “Most of the kids just feel sorry for the fat Nash. For example, when he tries to dribble behind his back and loses the ball to the other team, they just say, “I guess the old guy is just losing some of his skills –but hey– everybody loses a step eventually.”

In an interview with this reporter, conducted while the real Nash was standing in a line waiting to be picked by a team for a game, Mr. Nash said he “was just hoping to get picked for a team so that he could prove that he was the real Nash.”  Unfortunately for Nash, he was not picked during the entire time this reporter had available for this story and was last seen walking away from the courts with his head down, accompanied by three other scrubs.