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Latest Headlines
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Ghost Squirrel Haunts Family’s Woodland Cabin
Posted on July 2, 2012 | No CommentsAfter accidentally backing his boat trailer over a squirrel one afternoon, Roger Moseby had no idea he had changed his family vacations forever. -
Child CEO Bankrupts Wonka Industries
Posted on June 11, 2012 | 2 CommentsThrough a spokes-Loompa, CEO Charlie Bucket – the youngest person ever to head a Fortune 1000 company – announced this morning that Wonka Industries would file for bankruptcy next week, only months after Bucket took charge. -
New Species of Hyper-Intelligent Bear Found Frozen in Ice
Posted on May 28, 2012 | No CommentsDubbed "Yogipithicus," the animal may have walked upright and may have even worn primitive clothing. -
Reality Hit ‘Orange County Big Wheels’ Sticks To Successful Formula
Posted on May 21, 2012 | No Comments“We’re doing what we do best: making the most radical plastic tricycles in the business,” says Rodney Schofield, show creator and star. -
Buttfacebook IPO Set For May 16th
Posted on May 14, 2012 | No CommentsThree former college buddies are so confident that their Internet startup, Buttfacebook, will be a success, they’re doing the unthinkable: Planning an IPO for May 16, the day before social media giant Facebook goes public. -
iPhone-less Harvard Student Dies of Boredom At NASCAR Race
Posted on May 8, 2012 | 1 CommentTechnologically cut off from her friends, Brittany Pujols, a Harvard University undergraduate, suffered a “near-total mental collapse” during the 50th lap of a race at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, according to the examiner’s autopsy report. -
Evolutionary Biologist Richard Dawkins Denies Possibility of Intelligent Design Behind His Books
Posted on April 30, 2012 | No Comments"Any assertion that my work is the product of anything more than the random coming-together of subatomic particles is absurd," Dawkins says. -
Secret Service Chief Demands Strict 2-to-1 Prostitute-to-Agent Ratio on Future Trips
Posted on April 19, 2012 | No CommentsThree former Secret Service agents resigned in protest Wednesday in response to the newly announced policy proposal. -
Where Does The Weekly Weasel Get Its News?
Posted on April 16, 2012 | No CommentsBy popular demand, today we bring you a behind-the-scenes look at how the Weekly Weasel works. -
Hitler Fans Excited about New Hitler Shows on the Hitler Channel
Posted on April 10, 2012 | No CommentsPlanned upcoming shows included “Campaign of Terror,” an 82,202-episode series about Germany’s 1939 invasion of Poland and “Hello, Hitler,” a new sitcom about what happens when Hitler wakes up in the year 2012.